Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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