Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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