why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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