Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
