He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
