for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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