what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
