I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
