please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
