I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
