my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
