Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
