First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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