If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
