it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
