Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
