i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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