We're like a lot better than the average bears
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
