I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
