..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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