"it" just moved
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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