last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
