I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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