Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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