Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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