Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
