just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
