What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
