so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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