If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
