Nicole vs. Life
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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