my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
