I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
