He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
