don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We don't watch enough power rangers
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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