the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
