If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
