it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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