OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
