I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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