How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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