My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
