Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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