It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
