Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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