it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
