may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
either way he was missing a nipple.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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