im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I have aggressive nipples.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
