The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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