My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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